Like many Millennials, I think witches fucking rule. At this point I’ve probably been a witch for Halloween well over a dozen times in my life, and mostly wear a lot of black every day of the year.
Here’s the thing though, as an adult dressing as a witch at Halloween is kind of low effort. That’s fine, we’ve all got stuff going on. Besides, fear of witches is rooted in fear of powerful women, and exploiting that for personal gain is always going to be in style. In past years, I’ve always realized too late that I really ought to wear the hat if I’m going to dress as a witch again, so I end up buying a cheap witch’s hat at a party store or Walgreens. This year, I decided to make the last witch hat I’ll ever need.
I wish I could tell you this is a super easy project, and in some ways it is. Knitting the hat is easy enough, but then there is a fair amount of fabric manipulation required to get it to act like a witch hat, and not just a pointy knit hat. (We’re trying to go for Fear Of Powerful Women, here not Floppy Elf Hat But In Black.)
Construction was fairly easy, I cast on, joined in the round and decreased four stitches every three rows until I was out of stitches. Then I picked up the same number of stitches that I had cast on and increased nine stitches every other row until I ran out of yarn. I used an Aran weight yarn made of wool, mohair and silk (I had exactly one ball of it, so this was an ideal stash buster). I knit it on size 9 needles. When it was done, I had the right shape that I was looking for, but it was entirely too large and floppy. (I expected this.)
The plan was to felt the hat, which would involve shrinking it to the right size to fit on my head and hopefully create a stronger, denser fabric with less flop. I started trying to felt it on the stove, but after two hours of standing in the kitchen making hat soup, it wasn’t nearly as close to shrunk as it needed to be. So I threw it in the washing machine on hot with a couple of towels and agitated the hell out of it until it was the correct size and density. I think this took about three cycles.
Once it was felted, I blocked it by stuffing the hat with newspaper to maintain the shape I wanted. I pinned down the brim and base, which allowed me to shape it a little bit better for the size of my head.
Now that I was pleased with the size and density of the hat, I had to contend with the absolute floppiness. It had the big brim I was looking for, but I couldn’t see in front of my face with it on. The cone was pointy, sure, but it fell flat against my head like an old timey nightcap in a Dickens novel.
I considered my fabric stiffener options and decided to give cornstarch a try, mostly because it’s what I had. I used literally all of the remaining cornstarch in my house to do this. I sent it through two heavy starch cycles in the washing machine, which was pretty good for getting the level of stiffness I was looking for out of the hat, but the brim remained floppy.
Finally, I decided to bring out the big guns and apply heat and cornstarch directly to the brim and interior of the hat, which should (I hoped) get the results I was looking for. It did okay! The hat now stood at attention like I was hoping for, but the brim was still clearly fighting gravity.
Rather than considering other chemical options, I decided to do what I knew would work, and use 18 gauge aluminum wire, black anodized, tied around the outside edge of the brim with even more yarn, to get the Woman of the Dark Arts halo I was looking for .
And that was the missing piece of the puzzle.
Materials:
250 yards Aran weight, feltable yarn in your preferred hat color
Size 9 needles
Tapestry needle
Sewing needle with eye sufficiently large enough for yarn to pass through
Blocking mat, pins and old newspaper (you’ll block this hat several times, so it makes sense to re-use the newspaper to ensure consistent shaping).
Washing machine, set on hot, heavy agitation
Pillowcase
Iron, ironing board
½ cup of cornstarch, 2 cups of water (or other fabric stiffeners)
18 gauge aluminum wire
Wire cutters
50 yards DK weight yarn in coordinating or matching color
To make the hat:
Cast on 100 stitches
Join in the round, being careful not to twist
Knit two rounds
(SSK, K 23 sts, pm, k2tog, k 23 sts, pm) twice
Knit two rounds
(SM, SSK, knit to M, SM, k2tog, knit to M) twice
Knit two rounds
Repeat these last three rounds three more times
(SM, SSK, Knit to M, SM, K2tog, knit to M) twice
Knit three rounds
Repeat these last four rounds until 24 stitches remain
(SM, SSK, k 12, PM, k2tog, k to M) twice
Knit two rounds
Repeat these last three rounds until 12 stitches remain
SSK, K2tog across row
Knit one row for extra pointiness
Pull tail through remaining stitches.
Brim: Along the cast on edge pick up 100 stitches
K 12 sts, PM, (K11 sts, PM) eight times
On the next row M1 sts at each marker
Knit one row
Increase one stitch at each marker
Continue these last two rows, increasing 9 stitches per row, until your brim has reached sufficient size or you run out of yarn.
Cast off.
Felt the hat:
Place the hat inside the pillowcase, tie the pillowcase in one simple knot. Throw it in the washing machine with two or three towels and set it to agitate. Check the progress of your felting between each round. It may take multiple rounds.
Block the hat by stuffing it with old newspaper to maintain the pointy shape. Pin the brim as flat and as large as you can. Let dry.
Stiffen the hat:
Mix ¼ cup cornstarch with equal amounts water, until it forms a liquid (NOT paste). Throw in the washing machine on rinse and spin, with the felted hat again tied in the pillowcase. Repeat this process twice if desired results not seen.
Block it again until the same method as before.
Stiffen the brim:
Using a similar mix of cornstarch and water as before, but this time put it in a spray bottle. Using your iron, set on medium high, spray the cornstarch mixture onto the parts of the hat that still need to straighten up and fly right. Try and apply it primarily to the inside and underside, be careful of stains.
Block it again using the same method as before.
Wire application:
Cut a length of 18 gauge aluminum wire that is sufficiently long enough for the circumference of the brim, with a few inches of overlap. Use tack stitches to attach it to four corners of your hat, which will make it easier to finish without a long wire flapping everywhere. With your sewing needle and DK weight yarn, wrap the wire around the edge of the hat, using the yarn to conceal the wire. Wrap the ends of the wire at least 10 times so they don’t poke out.
Never buy a cheap witch hat from the party store ever again.
Got questions? Want to show me your witch hat? Want to form a coven? Reach out on Instagram @unapologeticallyersatz.